Just Twenty Seconds More

People love to talk about massive change. Reinvention. Breakthroughs. Big growth.

But in reality, the changes that shape our lives rarely arrive in dramatic moments. They are built through small, consistent shifts repeated over time. It’s not flashy. It’s not headline-worthy. But it’s how real growth happens.

Some of the smallest behaviors often have the biggest impact, especially in our daily interactions at work and at home.

One of those behaviors is dismissiveness.

Most of us think of dismissiveness in its extreme form. The eye roll. The sarcastic comment. Cutting someone off mid-sentence. Because we don’t do those things, we assume we’re doing fine.

But dismissiveness often shows up in quieter ways.

Half listening while checking your phone.
Interrupting with a solution before fully understanding the problem.
Saying “you’ll be fine” when someone is still trying to explain why they’re not.
Minimizing a concern because it wouldn’t bother you.

Leaders do it. Parents do it. We all do it from time to time.

It doesn’t make you wrong. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It simply means there’s room to grow.

This is where The What If Rule becomes powerful. In the small, real-time moments when you can pause, question your first reaction, and choose a better one.

Instead of moving on quickly, stay twenty seconds longer.
Instead of offering an immediate solution, ask one more question.
Instead of assuming you understand, make sure you do.

These shifts seem insignificant. Repeated daily, they are not.

Relationships strengthen. Trust builds. Conversations change tone.

Growth rarely comes from something dramatic. It comes from choosing differently in small moments.

What if this week you chose to be more attentive and receptive in the small moments of your day?

Do you lead people? Here’s a follow-up post:

Five Ways Leaders Can Be More Attentive and Receptive 
This post focuses on small relational moments. For leaders, those moments compound. I put together five actionable tips that strengthen trust and performance. Read it here.